So Frustrated......

It's now September 7, it's been two years and we are stuck in the adoption process. Tunisia is telling us that the Embassy has to contact them. While the Embassy is telling us Tunisia needs to contact them. We are stuck in the middle, wishing the two of them would communicate to get this resolved.

We received our home study document translated into Arabic, we are overnighting it to Tunisia and the Embassy. Then we enter the 30 day review period and wait for approval to identify an orphan.

Possibly September ?

More news.......Tunisia should receive our adoption file in about 1 week. Once received they'll submit it to a commission that will approve or deny it within 30 days.

Once approved the process of identifying an orphan begins, they said this typically takes 1-2 months. Once an orphan is chosen, Mourad will fly in for a court date to change the orphan's name into ours.

There is a 40 day waiting period on the paperwork. Then I'll fly in to Tunisia to meet Mourad, meet Alia for the first time, and go to the Embassy to file for her passport.

March 10th

The Embassy of Tunisia called today and on Friday Feb 5th they are sending our completed file to Tunisia. The Embassy said on March 10th we'll communicate directly with Tunisia regarding available orphans and setting an adoption date!

Adoption Status

We completed the international home study, with our social agent filed our I600A and got fingerprinted. We are now waiting on the call that they have children for us, then we file for the Visa's and go!

The home study is scheduled for Thursday December 11th at 9 am!

I'm feeling so thankful of God today, for every person he's brought into our lives that have affected this 2 year process and for the comfort he's brought us through the trials.

As we wait with anticipation for Thursday, the gratitude I feel right now if overflowing out of my heart. I feel God's hand in everything. I want to shout praise to him at the top of my lungs!

Adoption News

We mailed our paperwork for the background checks today. It should take 2-3 weeks to process. The social agent said once she gets it back she'll schedule our international home study.

Family Reunion 2008

Bugger Bubbles

Bugger bubbles ......

were one highlight of our family reunion this past weekend. A new maturity level was reached as we laughed at 9 month old Sennika, blowing bubbles from her nose.

Immaturity at it's best,

you may think the children were poking fun. No, at 37 years old, I found myself scrambling for my camera. Every comment made the moment grow funnier. Laughing with my brothers brought back good childhood memories. The flood gates opened as I watched Cyndalynn that night build a tent out of blankets for the boys to sleep under . Then the next morning as Annalese giggled & told me a story of how she can do "Drama"...... ? She told this story of being in the new house and rolling on the floor laughing uncontrollably, over absolutely nothing.

Remember that?

To be 7 yrs again. Laughing until it hurts. Long trips with my family, in the blue van with no airconditioning. My dad yelling at the McDonalds drive through "Six cholocate/vanilla twist ice cream cones please!" Contests to see who could make the most realistic fart noise . Telling my brother Travis to cross his eyes over and over again. All the family moments that take a back seat in our minds as we become adults.

Sometimes I look at my brothers and wonder if they are the same people.

Now husbands, dads , electricians, a marketer, they mainly talk sports. There are fewer moments together as we work to build our own families. Responsibilty, the quest for a better life and all that brings with it. But all it took was a bugger bubble to bring us all down to ground zero . The immaturity that brings such closeness.

Infertility

Honestly I never thought I would be 37 years old facing the fact that I may never be able to carry a baby for 9 months in my tummy, experience giving birth, or have a child with Mourad's curls and my eyes.

For the first 3 years of trying I wouldn't accept it. Excited every month thinking if I just prayed hard enough it would happen. I was just determined to force it to happen. Clomid, AI, herbs, then anti depressants to fight the depression, all my friend's weird advice ( I can't even go into that) but yes I tried it all. There was nothing that could get rid of the sadness I felt inside.

You look forward to something your whole life it's hard to accept that you can't have it. I would sit through baby showers smiling praying I wouldn't break down in front on anyone. How mad I would feel hearing about another teenage mom. Then the guilt that would pour in, for all the bad feelings I was having. I kept waiting on God. It's a righteous request right? Is he trying to punish me? I really have been a pretty big sinner most of my life, and tend to be prideful.

Everyone feels bad and tries to say the right thing to comfort you, give you a solution. How many times I heard..... "It will happen when you are not trying", "In God's time", "have you thought about adoption?" then there is my favorite "Your kids turn out ungrateful anyway, you should just teach primary"

By the 4th and 5th year I stopped denying the fact and started coping. My sister in law gave me great advice saying every feeling you feel is normal. Anyone who's ever went through it has felt the same way. That releived some guilt about not being a bouncy ball of happiness all the time.

Then as my husband and I were getting licensed to be foster parents one of the classes was on greif, all the steps. The teacher mentioned you never truly get over the loss. Even though the rest of the world goes on. It will effect you for the rest of your life. She mentioned infertility being a loss.

I had never thought of it as greiving. As she explained how to help foster kids deal with their greif it clicked. Again, being okay with every feeling and letting your self experience being angry , sad, mad. As we go through life we are told to be happy, turn your frown upside down, be positive etc. When really all of those feelings are natural and we are having them for a reason.

So as time passed I would let myself have a sad day and know it was ok to lock myself up and cry. The mad days were hilarious, I had fun letting myself be mad. My friend Cassi, got the brunt of those days.

Now going on 7 years of marriage, still no pregnancy. I turn to God once again. Through the last 7 years I questioned him a lot. What am I doing wrong that he won't let me have this? Thinking if I did everything right he was obligated. He had to live up to his end of the deal. The deal I made in my head trying to control the situation. If I try hard enough I'll be worthy to be pregnant.

It was hard to give that up, I still struggle at times. It's not easy for a control freak to rely on anyone. To turn things over to God and say it's in your hands is not easy for me. But I trust God, he loves me more then anyone.

I'm not disillusioned , I don't think the sadness will never reappear. But, I'm not waiting for that to happen anymore. A few weeks ago I hit a milestone I never thought I would accomplish. I sat through the entire night listening to a conversation that revolved around giving birth, parenting and children, without one sad or angry thought. I kept waiting for the emotions to rush in. Thinking I bet in a few days it will hit me. Especially with the house empty, no foster kids. There has been a lot of time to think. But even in my quiet time, I've been fine emotionally.

Bitter Sweet

We spent Saturday morning with the boys, it was the first time since they moved out that we've got to see them. It's been about 2 months (I think). We aren't allowed to post pictures while they are still in Foster Care, but now that I think about it I didn't even bring my camera with me. We just decided to bring ourselves, no gifts, candy, dogs. Just spend time with them. They have so many people in their lives that visit them with broken promises and gifts etc. We really wanted them to see it was only about being with them. We've missed them so much and plan on never losing contact with them, they've had too many people come in and out of their lives.

Anyway we picked up Kad and then met the Kac & Ky at the park. Laura said that when Kac picked out his shirt and said , "I want to wear this one, it's Brenda's favorite camping shirt!" We played hide and seek and spent time arguing over who they liked more, me or Mourad. There was a huge grassy hill with a rope swing at the bottom that hung from a tree. We chased the kids through the sprinkers and then they took turns on the swing. Mourad aimed the sprinklers at us and literally hosing us down. We were all soaking wet. We wrestled and gave piggy back rides, they wore us out so quickly.

It was sad to say good-bye. One the way home Mourad and discussed for the millionth time if we made the right decision by not adopting. We just had that empty feeling inside that they were gone again. It is comforting to know they have wonderful parents now. We talked with Laura & Erik for a while at the end, and you can tell they are so in love with the two younger boys and the boys are doing so well with them. They have lots of family vacations planned. Kad has been taking swim lessons all summer, and was excited to build a tree house with electricity! Even though we were sad, its good to see the boys looking forward to life and being loved so much.

Independence Day

Thanksgiving Point Fireworks

My brother Travis, now known as the coolest brother ever!, traveled and then worked so hard for the entire two days, I couldn't beleive he could stay awake for the show!

my neices are growing up so quickly and their little personalities are so sweet, they patiently watched the sky waiting for the fireworks to start. Sorry Mindy! I tried to sneek up to get a candid shot!

My sister Mindy looks so cute pregnant, we had the best talk about having babies and waiting to have babies, we can't wait to meet you TJ!

We want to get as much time as possible in with Miss Marcee & Brett before they move. We love hanging out with them. Marcee is such a social butterfly, Mourad and I always talk about how funny her stories are and she never runs out of energy. Tacee on the other hand looks like she was done a long time ago!

Todee, what a great shot you beautiful girl! It's fun to hang out with you outside of Sunday School. Although you know I'm partial to your puppet shows.

Tylee and Todee getting into the spirit of the 4th with their red, white, and blue.

My brother flew in from Vegas to work on installing the electrical system in our basement. He spent 2 long days and many trips to Home Depot getting it done. The fact that my brother took his 3 day holiday to help us out really made me feel a deep appreciation for him . It was a such a selfless act of love. On one of our trips to Home Depot we had a great talk and I was surprised how accepting he was of me, even as I head in my own direction sometimes. I'm so proud of him, he's always worked extremely hard at whatever he does, but it was amazing to see the knowledge he's gained the last 3 years of school. He's put in over 4000 hours preparing to be a journeyman, He finished our living room, 2 bedrooms, bathroom, storage room, and laundry room and everything was perfect. I don't know how we would have done it without him. Thank you Travis!!!!

nice butt honey! whoot! whew!

Enchanted BBQ

Enchanted BBQ

Since it finally ....got hot outside we invited some friends over for food, food, and more food. Our goal was to bbq salmon, chicken and steak. But due to a grill malfunction we got a really late start. Then about 8 pm the air conditioner quit working.

Just about the time everyone started saying "don't get stressed" I started stressing, but Mourad saved the day by pulling out the "old school" grill and fired it up.

I had marinated chicken in coconut and lime juice and had already panicked and stuck it in the oven bake instead. And thanks to Brett's skills with steaming the grill the steaks were done pretty quickly and were yummy!

Backyard Movie

When it got dark we connected the projector up and showed the movie Enchanted on the fence for the kids, We finished off the night with dessert, angel food cake with fresh berries!

Adopting a Child from Tunisia

The process as we understand it:

Step 1. Petition to Adopt: Write a letter requesting adoption. Include the age and sex of the child you would like to adopt. Send letter to the following address:

Institute National de la Protection de l’enfance
2010 Manoubia
Tunis, Tunisie
216 71 606 938

Step 2. Gather documentation needed for your file:

* Marriage certificate
* Birth certificates (one has to be from Tunisia in Arabic)
* Tunisian Social Security Card / ID card
* 2 Photos of both adoptive parents
* Police background check (US & Tunisian)
* Health Physical from a Doctor (translated in French)
* Proof of revenue (translated in French)

Step 3 * International Homestudy
(one copy translated into Arabic for Tunisia & one copy in English for I600A)
Search the internet for a licensed agency to complete an International Homestudy.
Our Cost was $600 / Completed by social worker in out state.

Step 4 * I600A filed with USCIS (US approval to adopt)
Wait until you have all other documents gathered before you file, because it expires in 18 months, but you are allowed to file an extention if needed.

Documentation needed to file I600A :

• Proof of US citizenship
• Marriage License
• International Homestudy (English)
• Our cost $685 w/ fingerprints
  

Step 5 Mail completed file to both locations:

Tunisian Embassy
1515 Massachusetts Ave NW
Washington, DC 20005
202 862 1850

Institute National de la Protection de l’enfance
2010 Manoubia
Tunis, Tunisie
216 71 606 938

Step 6 Tunisia will verify the file is complete and submit it to a commission who will sit down and review everything in the file. The commission will approve or deny the file with 30 days.

Step 7 Tunisia will then identify an orphan for you (approximately 1-2 months) Once a child is found file the I600 with the USCIS. (no fee if the I600A has not expired).


Documentation needed to file I600:

• Proof of child’s identity
• Proof child is an orphan
• Visa good for 180 days
  

Step 8 Once the orphan is identified a court date will be set to transfer the name of child. The Tunisian adoptive parent has to fly to Tunisia for the court date to transfer the name of the child. There is a 40 day waiting period before you can take the child home.

Step 9 During this waiting period, apply for the orphan's passport : Go to the U.S. embassy in Tunisia, to process the baby's Visa to come to the U.S. IR -3 Visa.

US Embassy in Tunisia
1053 Les Berges du Lac
Tunis, Tunisia

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Bend it like Beckham

Bend it like Beckham

Mourad decided to play soccer with my church this year. We had team members from Argentina, Etheopia, and Mourad said, "don't forget Tunisia" but our team showed up not really knowing what to expect.

They soon found out they were placed in one of the higher levels and were not playing ametuers. After a long winter of eating not so light Mourad struggled to get back in the game.

The first game all at once I heard all the kids groan in digust

I saw Melissa's face as she started gagging..... I looked into the box to see Mourad losing his cookies! I didn't realize running too hard , too soon could do that. blaaaa! He barely survived that first game.

With each game the team really start to come together.

By the end of the 8 weeks the games got more and more exciting to watch. The kids got to burn some energy too running around the soccer feild with their friends and then hitting McDonalds afterwards for ice cream. Stay tuned for round 2, Mourad just signed up for another quarter!

Ben, Baylou, Marci with Tacee & Melissa